Thursday, 5 February 2026

After Action Report: Second Squats

 I have noticed that a cat will turn up her nose at a piece of meat if I hand it to her, but she will devour it with gusto if she has "stolen" it. The meat is the same, but the difference lies in the predator's delight in recognizing itself.
   - Ernst Jünger, Eumeswil

Ruins of Saint-Mina-Outre-Eaux, Finistère

Scouting action, withdrawal, feint, cautious probe, flattening artillery barrage, feint. The bastards were dug in pretty well - a tacky and reductive thought, not worthy of the son of a pâtissier - and so far the Guard had been unwilling to commit fully. Nobody wants to try and dig out a 'dwarf.

Command was getting impatient with the slow pace. Finistère was as fringe a world as the name implied. Once at the outstretched fingertip of Imperial colonisation efforts, the rotting world had been left to ferment by the contraction of the empire from coreward space since the sack of Badab. This was the first Commissar the world had seen in three generations, most like.

And now here he was, crawling his delicate son-of-a-pastry-chef arse through some backwater grass analogue that reeked of petrichor and ozone and whatever the hell those abhumans used in their anti-plant munitions, Betsy hooked over one shoulder. The Saint-Saëns CXLIV had brought in their ratling auxiliaries, along with a platoon of hulking "Southers" from Đại Du'o'ng. Who knew if those pale barbarians even had a regimental number. It wasn't like they had uniforms -- wait. Was that a motortrike engine?

No whole-of deployment photo, oops.
I deploy on the left of this photo!

Friend of the blog Mangs has a new 6'x4' table and when I asked to help him break it in, he suggested a game of second edition! Neither of us have played a game of second in decades, but he still has all his templates and cards and such, while I've painstakingly reacquired the rulebooks (no templates, though) - so why the hell not?

I suggested some initial minor modifications to the Squats army list in Codex: Army Lists to bring them more in line with the Rogue Trader-era Brotherhood list, as that's what I've been using to organise my collection (as per my old tumblr post on the subject), to which he readily agreed. I then counted up more-or-less what I have painted and arrived at 1560. Mangs put together about the same in Imperial Guard (he didn't deduct points for stripping the Leman Russes of heavy bolters) and we were off.

We avoided psykers to keep it simpler, still got half the rules wrong (Leman Russes have targeters! and I probably had my bikes do hit and run attacks very wrong!), and used way too much terrain, as we usually play each other in skirmish games.

But we set up, deployed, and played all four turns with very infantry-heavy armies in around three hours flat and had a blast (sorry) the whole time. Hell yeah. Second edition is back, baby.

Elements of the CXLIV approach through the ruined city

The board uses all terrain. I went a bit nuts setting it up, excited to play, which actually meant we barely engaged with each other at all - line-of-sight was close to impossible. Oops. 

auxiliaries

Deployment was the classic 12" in, 24" apart. I think there was supposed to be some gaps at the sides, now that I'm writing this, and I'm not sure we did that. Anyway.

We drew Mission Cards in secret and only revealed them at the end. I had Engage and Destroy (extra VP for kills), while poor Mangs got Dawn Raid - in an army with no cavalry or transports. Yikes.

Thunderer squad and Trike

Guard advance

Brotherhood troops advance, supported by Guild bikers

jungle foliage spilling from the ruined power temple

Mangs won the first turn and chose to advance as much as he could into the field, firing Leman Russ cannons on the way and laying down what fire he could. 

I took most of my photos during the Mangs's first turn, as usual

One of his rocket launchers missed and then rolled the HIT + MISFIRE on the scatter dice, resulting in the weapon team being incinerated. Incredibly funny moment on the first turn, and a real sign of the rest of the game.

Warlord and hearthguard

Other than that, the initial fire was fairly minor, as to be expected.

Guild trikes watch the Leman Russ in the distance

On my own turn, my two Guild trikes targeted one Leman Russ. It was my intention to go hard on this flank, kill the one 'Russ, and then go through enemy lines to kill the other. That... did not happen. These two did manage to blow its tracks off, but failed to penetrate the turret or hull...


A lucky shot of Mangs had killed two of the thunderer squad. They failed their morale - on an eleven. I would go on to roll exactly an eleven for every single rally attempt for four turns of the game. At a stroke, a good chunk of my 'kill Imperial Guard en masse' was rendered ineffective for the rest of the game!

the tank, the tracks burning, slams toward the killer trikes

So while I had crippled the tank, it slewed to my right, slammed forward, and ended with the still-functional turret pointing directly at my trikes. Not ideal!

elements of the 'Southers' come down the shelled main street

This is the pattern for the rest of the game. I played far too cautiously, moving slowly (even for dwarfs even for dwarfs moving through terrain - hey, remember when terrain actually affected games? we do now), while Mangs was frustrated from being able to lay down a fusillade of fire from his guys.

the surviving Leman Russ take up position as a turret

That said, lasguns were actually intimidating in this edition - that -1 to armour saves means that flak armour means nothing. While single shots seem less effective than the variants on Rapid Fire from Third Edition onwards, the fact that everyone gets fewer shots and fewer dice are rolled means that we moved along at a pretty quick clip. 

guardsmen move forward,
secure in the shadow of the overgrown Cathédrale Saint-Mina-Sanguinor de Eedrafór

bugger

Regrettably, the crippled Leman Russ did indeed get to annihilate one of the trikes with his oversized gun. At point blank range, the funniest thing to do would be to have it scatter back onto the tank but, alas, it was some very dead space dwarfs. The bike then went out of control directly into the tank, meaning we got to look up the ram attack rules (bikes are bad at it, don't do it with bikes).

kablooey

Of course, on my turn, the other trike blew the thing to hell. The turret flew into the air and landed among a squad of Saint-Saëns's finest. Technically it landed on an empty square, but Mangs insisted that we treat the turret as a footprint and roll to see who got squashed, incapacitating or killing several brave baseline humans. Hell yeah.

spilling out of the ruined cathedral

My bikers zoomed forward through the ruined street. Initially, I thought that I had to entirely avoid difficult ground, but it turns out that bikes can move through it at the slower speeds I was using in this busy board. I realised this after one of them failed a skid test and blew himself to pieces, of course. \m/

At any rate, they pushed down the middle, firing twin-linked bolters into guardsmen and tanking a surprising amount of fire - having to roll to hit the rider saved a lot of them, and then T4 is very good. Feels bad that they don't get armour against the lasgun -1 though! dang!

On the other hand, the leader of the squad took a battlecannon hit which only damaged the bike's controls (a roll I then passed every turn) because we randomised for 'other locations' and he wasn't it. That doesn't seem intuitively right (surely the template hits everything under it?) but hey, that's the ruling we went with.

avenge our tanker brothers! take aim!

The surviving trike lost his driver that way. It wasn't clear to us in the rules in that moment when 'the gunner may take over', so I just decided that happened immediately. A viable vehicle was more important to me than maybe getting another shot off with the multi-melta (a mistake, it turned out).

autocannon team

I was so afraid of this autocannon team that my squad of dwarfs on the left flank hung back way too much to avoid it. On turn 3, it did jam and then I finally moved forward and shot it to death. Good deployment, though.

scatter dice?

At some point, the crane fell over so we decided that the ongoing fighting was too much for it and it became some broken terrain that a squad of my dwarfs could infest and start shooting back at the humans spilling out of the ruined cathedral. This is a very bad photo and I don't remember why I took it.

cool photo, stupid decision

We did some ramming with the bikes and trikes, mostly so I could play with the hit-and-run rules, which we made a bit of a mess of. I thought the vehicle would stop, have the engagement in the combat phase, and then continue - actually, you move it the whole way, but have the exchange out of sequence. It's also not clear if you can keep having mini combats as you move through a squad. No, right?

Also as I write this it occurs to me that you probably aren't supposed to just go 'through' the enemy model? But if you don't take it out, do you stop? I think I need to re-read those rules more carefully.

Anyway, the sergeant of this squad stepped to one side very smoothly and decapitated the driver, sending the trike careening off in the next turn. Dang.

FOR THE GUILD

The bikers had better luck, gunning down (you do still shoot right) and squashing humans. The leader here crushed one guy with his power glove, which was very satisfing, and would later set someone on fire with his hand flamer.

Leman Russ very effective as usual - that's several 'Southers' under there...

The human fire did take out a couple of bikes - and a few in the succeeding hit-and-run turns, but the Leman Russ only managed to murder half a squad of not-Catachans. Great work, fella.

these motherfuckers

As usual, I didn't take as many photos in the latter half of the game - I had to get back home at least close to the end of naptime, so that my partner didn't have to solo parent all day. But I couldn't leave home without a photo of these god damn motherfuckers who rolled 11s for every single leadership test all game. The other Thunderer squad getting bogged down in a forest or behind a tank - that's on me for not being good at games. These guys? Deployed relatively well? and then cowered in cover after losing only two men? back to canary duty for you bastards.

ahem

On the last turn, I finally got some squads into position to fire and killed most of the ratling squad and sufficient members of other squads to force a few leadership tests. Most of them were passed (including the brave ratlings, who had killed a biker!), but combined with the bikers going hog wild in the middle of the board (although they did lose their leader to the command squad plasma gunner), I think that the initiative had started to turn in favour of the Brotherhood.

my shadow helpfully adding some contrast

In hindsight, I should have pushed forward more everywhere. Squats aren't as tough as you think, so a lot of my hesitation was justified, but even a couple of dead wouldn't have slowed them down too much. The unlucky Thunderer squad aside, most of them would have been able to handle a few dead friends in return for actual engagement. But that's something for next time...

We both had a blast. While I can't contribute this battle report to the Siege of Brakkar Chain, the fact that there are crazy global campaigns like that, a bunch of other folks, and the regular, traditional old men of the #oldhammer movement means that Second Edition is weirdly making a real resurgence.

While the Squats aren't one of the Big Projects I'm hoping to finish this year, it was very exciting to get them onto the table. Mangs and I hope to do a lot more in this vein, maybe even coming up with a campaign - ah, the traditional 'we had one game, let's plan way too big and get overwhelmed and do nothing', just like the old days...

Warmaster Gorun, Mjǫllnir Brotherhood, Fourth Grand Clan Army

Repulsed. A bad word, but the only one that was apt. Blood and technology spent against the half-human bastards, and for nothing -- worse than nothing. Word came from Command that they were withdrawing. They had 'shewn the eagl'd flag', issued a reprimand in mettle, and that was sufficient. Finistère had ceased to be an imperial asset for long enough that it was not even to be recorded as a campaign loss against the record of the CXLIV. 

Although, there was a worrying rumour in the officers' channels that the withdrawal was, i'faith, a redeployment - some trouble on the homeworld herself, that some thing had come to her alkaline oceans and wild rivers . Élisabeth grew warm in his hand. Rumours. "The tongue is also a fire," he murmured, "a world of evil."

Far from Finistère, the Maelstrom smiled.

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